A Hug is Nearly A Gun Spelled Backwards

   In my opinion personal relationships are a key ingredient to this mess we call life. Personal relationships provide a sense of peace and serenity. In the lives of many people patriotism is nonexistent; I didn't even know what it was until today. Lastly personal relationships are apart of being a human. It's in our biology; patriotism is not.
   Many times when things go wrong in our lives we run to family and friends. They comfort us when we are in need of comfort. When we are hurting deep down inside, patriotism wont do anything for us, and what you believe in will not fix your broken heart. Sometimes people just need to know they're cared about, so let's be real, you can care about your country as much as you want, but it will never care about you. Some people may argue that when they think about their country it makes them feel better, but in reality this country is not even comparable to how your loved ones pick you up when you're down. In my opinion thinking about this country will not make me feel better. If anything it will dampen my mood even more.
   What is patriotism anyway? Well, patriotism is an emotional attachment to a nation which an individual recognizes as their homeland. Many people including myself don't have patriotism. How can patriotism be important when I don't even know in depth what it is. We learn about the importance of personal relationships when we are very young, but patriotism on the other hand, it's one of those things where if you don't have it, you don't know what it is unless you look it up. Some believe if you have patriotism, you have everything, but I strongly disagree. Patriotism doesn't mean anything if the country you stand for doesn't stand for you. "Your country" will never love and protect you like your friends and family. I guess what I'm trying to say is, not enough people have patriotism or even know what it is for it to be more important than personal relationships, something everyone in life experiences.
   To live we need basic things in life. Food, water, sleep, and love. In our body there are chemicals released when we feel certain emotions. These are chemicals our body needs to survive. If you feel those emotions about your country that's a bit freaky, but by all means do what makes you happy. I have never experienced endorphins (the happy chemical) being released when I think about my country. Yes some may say love is a want not a need, but it is very much so a need. Our bodies as humans crave these emotions; without them we would not be able to function properly.
   Yes our country is very important; its where we live, but I'm with E.M. forester on this one. Personal relationships are necessary for us humans to live successfully. If you're not human then I say, go for it; patriotism all the way. I personally am human and I would hope most of my audience would be human, so we need friends and family in our lives. We also need respect for our country, but to a certain extent. Like Ben Stein said, "Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows".


  1. Dude, this is a really dope essay. Everything, in my opinion, is super well written and well organized :) I loved the second to last paragraph; it made me chuckle a bit and I (as a reader) felt like your voice shined through :) I feel like you provided evidence and stuff to support your claim :) Nice essay! (P.S. I'm also obsessed with your blog ;p)

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  3. Hey Cerenity! I really like your essay, but I think there are some areas that you need improving in. I liked the diction you have going on throughout your whole entire writing; however, you might want to balance this out with a third person narrative. Basically, as in having some formal structure. With this being said, I would also organize your paragraphs into more clearly defined topics. So state that topic sentence and go into elaborating and talking about that so that you can have this organization. Also, for your introduction paragraph I would mention the part of the prompt that involves agreeing or disagreeing with E.M. Foster's views. Lastly, you mention that you did not even know what patriotism is until today. That is a great voice, but I would briefly talk about patriotism in the introduction so that readers know that patriotism will be discussed in this essay. These are just my suggestions and I think if you can do some of these things you will have a stellar essay!

    1. And I would spell E.M. Forster's name incorrectly. But just to give me some ease I corrected myself there :) And just to clarify, not that you don't already have a stellar essay, but perhaps if you do some adjustments you will have a better essay then before.


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